This Valentine’s Day, Don’t Settle For Being a Basic Bitch.


By Roya Ansari | February 14th 2017 

Red Lips
Image by Anairam via Behance

Valentine’s Day always has me lowkey embarrassed to be a single woman. I write on behalf of the behavior that women of my generation display on social media every year on this holiday. The trending #IHateValentinesDay, #SingleAwarenessDay, or even #GalentinesDay tags have cornered us women into embarrassing stereotypical categories that we feel like we need to identify with so that the world knows that we-are-in-fact-doing-just-fine-thank-you-very-much. Here are some such categories of women on Valentine’s Day:

  1. The One That Hates Valentine’s Day
  2. The Walking, Talking Self-Pity Party
  3. The Independent “I don’t need a man, I’m doing me”
  4. The Galentine, with a tendency to surround herself with her tight squad of gal pals, that would put T.S.’s squad to shame

Dear single ladies – don’t be a Valentine’s Day Stereotype this year. It almost seems you’re choosing to passive aggressively ask the world why you are still single (even though you’re obviously a perfect catch.) Unfortunately, people see right through it. So congrats! You’ve successfully managed to metaphorically flip your middle finger off to the world while you keep it lowkey, posting pictures of the chocolates that you might’ve bought yourself for social media gainz, or your group of girls in tight mini skirts & crop tops with plunging necklines, right before you hit the nightclubs in hopes of meeting “the one” (at least for the night).

Tweets, snap stories, hashtags and photos posed to Facebook and Instagram are the precious alibis we cling to. We need to prove to the world that we aren’t jaded by a day celebrating “people who aren’t single.”

Why do we feel so pressured to prove to the world (and ourselves) that we aren’t jaded by Valentine’s Day? Speaking on behalf of the single lady, we feel obligated to post on all social media platforms as proof that we are indeed INDEPENDENT, STRONG women who are DOING JUST FINE on this holiday, regardless of what emotions are really rampaging on the inside.

Image courtesy of Vogue Ukraine

Remember Valentine’s Day when we were kids? What happened to that innocent excitement for sugary sweet treats and chick flicks?  The time where if you were going to bring one person a valentine, you had to bring one for everyone? The hours of hard work spent creating your own personalized Valentine’s Day mailbox, making it look as inviting as possible; picking out your Valentine’s carefully, attaching candy to them, writing personalized messages to each kid in your class; accepting any and all valentines, out of construction paper, markers, glitter, and stickers? And afterwards, our little hearts racing as we eagerly dump out the contents of our Valentines mailboxes to see all of the personalized (mandatory) love & candy that our classmates gave us.

That excitement and nostalgia has stuck with me through adulthood and I still find myself hand-making Valentines and sending them to friends via mail, buying sweetheart candy boxes by the bulk, and gorging on mystery chocolate boxes to a favorite chick flick.

What I find myself doing every Valentines Day – hand making corny cards and sending them to my friends via snail-mail.

Valentines day is about love. LOVE yourself, LOVE your family, LOVE your partner/spouse, LOVE your children, LOVE your friends, LOVE your pets, and LOVE your community. Buy your mother a bouquet of flowers and tell her how much you love her. Make some corny, sparkly, handmade valentine cards for your close friends. Go to the movies by yourself or splurge on the discounted chocolate for future cravings. Get a massage, a pedicure, see a hairstylist — LOVE YOURSELF. Love is love, people.

Image courtesy: Unknown

Don’t be lazy and settle for a self-pity party. Step up and get creative in how you’re going to celebrate your interpretation of love you have for the people around you.

Edited by: Jennifer Karami


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